How would Walt feel about that? To quote the movie, it’s the kind of thing that would make him rise from the grave just so he could have a heart attack again. Disney used to be the king of classic moviemaking but guys like Lennon, Garant and Shankman are driving it into the ground. I would say shame on you to the executives behind the film for allowing things to get so out of control, but I suspect their meddling created its fair share of the movie’s fatal flaws.įamily films don’t have to be this painful. Where one finds that line is completely irrelevant in the case of The Pacifier, The film is so far into absurd territory that it’s a wonder the project ever made it to the screen. There’s a fine line between great comedy and lame absurdity. That laughter never came, although a few times I caught myself chuckling at Shankman’s more obvious directorial blunders, the kinds of things kids making home video movies are able to avoid. Every single gag is forced, kind of like the laughter I tried mustering to acknowledge the suffering of the poor folks in the cast. Diesel, Garrett and the rest are completely wasted on this film, and you can see the pain in their eyes with each line they have to deliver. There’s hardly a scene in the film that isn’t reduced to petty humor and the pitiable actors know it.
Didn’t anyone every tell Diesel that acting with animals is nothing but trouble? I imagine they got the idea after seeing the bird steal every single scene he’s in. Somewhere along the way the film’s marketers saw the opportunity to pitch the story as a ninety minute war between Vin’s character and the little quacker. The painful truth of that sentence alone makes me want to stop writing this review right now.
The most underrated but overused performer in the movie is a duck. The trio are blessed with the opportunity to provide the movie with its only redeeming moments and all three have potential for good careers in cinema, provided they can avoid the likes of Shankman in the future. Brittany Snow plays the oldest of the five kids, followed in line by Max Thrieriot and Morgan York. The movie stars Vin Diesel, Brad Garrett, Faith Ford and a host of other funny folks including some fairly talented up and coming child actors.
They succeeded in ways that boggle the mind. It would seem that writers Thomas Lennon and Ben Garant and director Adam Shankman intentionally set out to make the worst conceivable version of that plot. The movie that was made misses that simplicity completely.
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The plot is a simple one, full of opportunity for clever comedy, exciting action and tender, family drama. Shane Wolfe is a Navy Seal assigned to protect a group of five children whose lives are at risk from mercenaries looking for top secret technology the children’s recently murdered father had developed.
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